I have always been the type to give a compliment – it is in my DNA. I am not jealous nor do I feel inferior to other women. There is only one Summer Willow Fitch so no need to feel inferior. I find confidence in the fact that I can never be duplicated. I believe we are created differently to dispel myths of comparison and to encourage others to find interest the uniqueness of the human species. As such, you can imagine my frustration when I see a woman with a killer dress on and I say “nice dress” and she responds with either the cliché, “I look a mess” or the quite trite, “this old thing?” I cringe when women say these self-defeating things after receiving a compliment. Clearly, I just said something nice to you, my dear… say thank you. Why is it so hard for women to take compliments? A compliment is a gift, praise, respect, and courtesy. There are people who walk the earth who never receive compliments. I can bet $2 that you recently complained that people are rude, jerks or insensitive and 9 times out of 10 you frequently have rude experiences. My opinion, you are attracting that (we will talk about that later). But for those of you who have felt you needed someone to do or say something nice to you and you got it – the universe gave you what you wanted; why do you feel the need to shrug it off.
When you get a compliment, generall it is best to just say thank you. Don’t question the compliment, don’t downplay the compliment just say thank you. Disclaimer: it the person is a creep or being inappropriate it is very acceptable to say nothing and walk away. But under normal circumstances – those who shrug off compliments, here are a few pointers:
#1 They did not ask you a question and if they did, why would you answer it with a question?
#2 They did not challenge you; there is no rebuttal.
#3 It’s not wise to let your insecurities control your thoughts. Do you really think that little of yourself?
#4 Specifically in the case of the woman to woman compliments; She is a woman; one with whom you should be able to feel comfortable. If she cannot compliment you, can you imagine the energy you give off to men?
#5 If you get a compliment return it. I just said something nice to you; return the gesture and/or say thank you.
I know that women often struggle with how to amicably accept compliments without sounding conceited or arrogant. But look here-own who you are and the time it took or the fact that it took no time at all for you to walk out of your home this morning looking good. Your efforts to take care of you are rewarded with compliments, smiles, and good energy. Consider this, if you take a test and get 9/10 right would you negotiate your way down to a ‘C’ or take that ‘A-‘? A compliment should confirm the feeling that you feel inside. No matter whether you feel the compliment is sincere or not – as long as it is done with taste – it’s yours to take in and translate in a way that positively affects your energy. Don’t dismiss your value or your successes. Remember you are everything you think you are. Accepting positive feedback will give you the opportunity to see yourself through the same lens as others – and I bet they think you are wonderful.
When you do get a compliment here are a few ways to accept them:
- Complimented on your outfit: “Thank you; I love green too.”
- Complimented on furniture: “Thanks. It has been in my family for generations.”
- Complimented on your beauty: “Thank you – My parents did a great job.”
- Compliment on a project you are working on: “Thanks! I’m so enthusiastic about this project, so it’s great to know you’re anticipating it too.”
- Complimented on your fragrance: “Thanks – when I smelled it I had to buy it”
- Complimented at work for your achievements: “Thank you. I was hoping this was what you were looking for, and I really like it too.”
- Complimented for your guidance: “Thank you. I’m so glad that I could help.”
With that being said:
“If you don’t take compliments freely; the compliments will not be freely given“
…and if all else fails: drink this pretty drink and see yourself in it!
1/2 oz Vodka
1 oz Passion Fruit Rum
1 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz Grenadine
1/2 oz Sweet and Sour
Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and serve. Garnish with every beautiful fruit and parasol you can find.
Are You Drinking or Thinking? *If you have a specific question or a topic you want to be covered, send an e-mail to contact@SummerWillow.com