Much like the notion that Christopher Columbus discovered and settled America is false, (my blog=my opinion) so is the notion that if you actively choose to settle for what you can get, you will ultimately attract what you want. Makes no sense does it? How do you think that you can be bogged down with available trash, yet simultaneously emote the sweet scent of availability? You cannot do both. I am not talking about simultaneously walking and chewing gum -we all have attempted and succeeded there. I am actually comparing this notion of settling to running and driving a car simultaneously (Fred Flintstone is also not real…sorry). It is just not possible; no one has really done this.
The fire in your heart and loins, under normal circumstances, burns for love and companionship; romantic relationships are (for most) an inevitable desire. I agree that until you find the proverbial “one”, you should date, explore, and discover what your wants and needs are. What I am protesting however, is settling for anything that does not mirror your deal-breaker criteria.
I warn against keeping around a warm body with a cold disposition. I do not suggest keeping a little black book full of nothingness that you dip into when you desire to indulge in your emotional and physical insecurities. If you are looking for a committed relationship with a financially responsible, family-oriented, and outgoing mate; you probably shouldn’t settle for a fiscally hare-brained-introvert who swore off their family because they refuse to loan your lover more money.
Settling for this person won’t allow for a good ounce of happiness. You cannot mentally or mystically change anyone except yourself, so don’t try to change the ways of others. Accept that some folks won’t fulfill your needs and keep your emotional space clear of clutter and noise so that neither of you will be distracted. Ultimately, when you settle you discover nothing about you or your possibilities.
With that being said, this is for your heart:
“It’s not enough to just believe in the best possible outcomes without putting forth the best possible effort for the outcome. If you desire a healthy relationship you mustn’t settle for a ‘dud’ in the meantime. The meantime’ will become your reality and your desire will be reduced to a mere wish.”
…but If all else fails, take two of these and read this again in the morning:
2oz – Your Favorite Rum
1/2 oz Curacao
1/2 oz Lemon or Lime Juice (It’s Your Choice)
Splash of Pineapple
Splash of Sour Mix
Add all ingredients to a shaker with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a rocks glass. Garnish with a mint spring and a pineapple wedge and enjoy