You Can Look. It’s OK!

How many of you think your mate is attractive? Do you get lost in your thoughts; fantasizing on how they look, feel, or smell? When your lover walks into the room do you have an uncanny connection that attracts you instantly? How about conversation; do you lose track of time enjoying hours of mental stimulation? Yeah? That bond can only become more unbreakable over time and it is safe to say that you are connected. I will be the first to admit, when I am locked into a relationship, I lust after my man, mentally and physically.   Everything about him, to me,  is hella sexy.  His voice, his smile, his scent, the way he walks and uses his hands to convey a message; he is the sexiest thing walking the earth. Although the physical is amazing, it is not the foundation of my love. There are deep-rooted, emotional, cerebral, and intimate reasons why we are dedicated.

There should be no outsider that is able to infiltrate our bond or latch on to our emotional bond and sever it. I don’t worry about any woman’s “hello”, revealing outfit, or pretty smile breaking up my relationship. I have full confidence in myself and in him, so if a beautiful woman walks by and says hello to my man my smile does not turn to a frown.  If a waitress at our favorite restaurant decides to take some money off the bill and give us an extra drink because he smiles and compliments her service; he will tip her nicely and I won’t bat an eye.

What I am talking about here is confidence. If a woman has a sexy walk and a curvy frame,  it most likely will catch any man’s attention.  When I walk down the street and see beautiful flowers, I stop to smell them, take in the beauty for a moment, and walk on. Why? Because my eyeballs work, too. If I see something that catches my eye – I am going to look.  That’s all.

Now, if your partner interacts beyond what is comfortable for you – speak on it. Anything unacceptable must be discussed and remedied. Don’t lie about how you feel about anything you deem disrespectful.  If you can not handle him or her looking or speaking – say so. Do not try to hold your feelings for fear of what they may think. Relationships are supposed to be your safe space. A place where you can be vulnerable.  If you don’t communicate you may find yourself kicked out of the nearest Starbucks because “Ms. Gorgeous” on the register said hello, your Mr. flashed his pearly whites, and you spazzed out. It’s just a hello. Remember, it’s ok; you are with him.


The only caveat is that there is a fine between acceptable and disrespectful. Insecure people can sometimes sabotage their own relationships exhibiting jealous behavior. So, if you lean too far to the right and your mate is asked to look down when anyone walks by; yeah… that won’t fly too long. On the other hand, if you have a mate that is borderline disrespectful, your lack of boundaries could find you walking in on an impromptu threesome and you will be asking yourself,  Wtf? Quite honestly, in a stable relationship, subtle flirting can be healthy and sexy. If you have not given your partner a reason to look outside of your relationship you are good. Make sure you provide each other with love, attention,  emotional support, intimacy, and respect.

Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? That fine specimen that your lover merely looked at, is just 20% of what they truly want and need. Be you. Chill out. Have fun. Take in the scenery


With that being said, this is for your heart;

“When someone smiles at your boo, give yourself a proverbial pat on the back.  In the grand scheme of things, that little gesture should make you smile too.” 

…but if all else fails; drink this, and cover your eyes!


1.5 oz Cognac

1/4 oz Amaretto

1/2 oz Simple syrup

3/4 oz fresh Lemon Juice

4 dashes Angostura Bitters

Fill a rocks glass with ice, stir gently with a spoon. Garnish with lemon wheel.


1 comment for “You Can Look. It’s OK!

  1. Dara Campbell
    August 10, 2017

    I concur with everything written! Beautiful web page too. *muah*

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